“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

                                                              – Aristotle

Hello my dear hCGers.

As some of you may know, with the growth of my blog, I have recently taken on the help of an email helper, Lucelle. She. Is. Awesome. She is doing a great job of pointing you guys in the right direction for simpler questions that I already have a blogpost about, or that I have answered by email before that she can reiterate to you. However, there are still many emails that really need me to personally respond, and this is something I really enjoy doing, as I love connecting with you, and no doubt MANY of you reading this have indeed had possibly even multiple personal replies from me.

However, I want to take this opportunity not only to share something personal that requires me to take a little private communication break, but also perhaps to share thoughts that will you get some of you thinking about your own situations in life, because I don’t want this just to be about me. I want to provide value to YOU if you are taking the time out of your busy day to read this. Perhaps there is a little tweaking your own path could use, and maybe this will get your brain wheels spinning.

Just to be clear, all this soul searching the past week has made me realize I need to take an email sabbatical. For the next month or so, I will be mostly out of commission for emailing and messaging through Facebook.

Where to Find Help

Before I get to the whole self-help-yourself-over-a-P2-meal-of-4-strawberries thing, let me give you a few links and info that will help you during this whole “email sabbatical” shin-dig.

1. Lucelle, my helper, will still be responding to emails and Facebook private messages. She is able to point you in the right direction in many cases.

2. I have a search bar in the footer of my site.

3. I have a FAQ section that is getting more beefy by the week.

4. Other areas of the blog you may need:

• Sanity Saver Products for Phase 2
• hCG Dosage – the MOST Important Aspect to Low/No Hunger on hCG
• Current recommendations for buying real hCG online (with a Q&A at the bottom of the page)
• Injection Tutorials
• Phase 2 Details
• Phase 3 Details
• Cheating on hCG
• Other hCG Struggles
• Details on the newly published hCG Diet Workbook – see the inside

5. It’s perfectly okay to email or send messages with ideas for content you would like on the blog. This actually helps me know what to create in the future for you guys.

On to Inner Human Growth (Got Your Strawberries? Add a dusting of stevia. Trust me, it’s way yummier).

I read portions of a book not too long back about introverts vs. extroverts. Actually 3 books on the subject.

• The Introvert Advantage – How to Thrive in an Extrovert World
• Quiet – The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
• Introvert Power – Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength

The theory behind these books explain that being introverted or extroverted is different from being shy or outgoing, and that you can easily be an outgoing introvert, or a shy extrovert. I believe I may be an outgoing introvert. One of the defining things about an introvert is that re-fueling requires being alone, and this is definitely me.

“We can’t underestimate the value of silence. We need to create ourselves, need to spend time alone. If you don’t, you risk not knowing yourself and not realizing your dreams.” – Jewel

I Love People

I LOVE people. Especially helping people. Teaching is in my genes. My mom is a music teacher, and both her parents were teachers. If you’ve seen me in my videos I connect with people, I get excited by my connections with people. I’ve been able to translate this into my videos because very early on I became aware of WHO was watching the videos that I made. So when I stare at the black lense of my canon and talk to it, I don’t see a piece of plastic and glass, I see you guys.

How Do You Re-Fuel?

The books discuss that introverts don’t hate people – especially if you’re an outgoing introvert, you still love to be around and interact with people. However, being around people takes energy out of an introvert, whereas for an extrovert, being around people infuses them with renewed energy. We all expend energy in various ways in life, and we all need to refuel. What takes energy out of us, and what puts energy back in us seems to be different depending on your internal makeup. Ignoring this can lead to more energy going out than coming in, which eventually will lead to, you guessed it, death by chocolate. Okay that’s my attempt to make a little joke about something that is actually quite serious when it comes to your quality of life.

“Stay true to your own nature. If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don’t let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy depth, don’t force yourself to seek breadth.” ~ Susan Cain

Based on what I know promotes a feeling of wholeness and balance within me, I think I do tend towards this introvert side, where I love to be around people, but after a time, feel a strong need to be alone in order to regain my strength and mental clarity. If I don’t respect this about myself, both my physical and cognitive capabilities start going downhill, and fast.

Have you ever noticed this to be true of you? I didn’t actually realize this in and out energy balance to myself until the past few years and that I could operate more consistently and feel more stable emotionally and even physically when made sure to alternate more high energy/output occasions or tasks with more reflective/down periods to recover.

Here’s another quote that makes you think:

“Isn’t it refreshing to know that what comes perfectly natural for you is your greatest strength? Your power is in your nature. You may not think it’s a big deal that you can spend hours immersed in something that interests you—alone—but the extrovert next door has no idea how you do it.” Laurie Helgoe

My Added Complication

An added complication I have in my life is that I’ve been dealing with a mysterious chronic illness for over 12 years now. Earlier on the symptoms would come on with a vengeance, but then seem to disappear for awhile. Over time though, the symptoms became more a part of my daily life and no longer went away. My current belief is that on top of my confirmed diagnosis of Hashimotos thyroiditis, I have chronic lyme disease. The severity of the symptoms DO vary. I am fairly stable in general these days because I have eliminated almost completely from my life certain activities considered normal to everyday life that bring on symptoms. Despite this however, the illness is still there, in me, so the problem is I never know when symptoms will be more severe than usual, and for how long symptoms will last when they are there. I have come to realize that this health condition escalates the output of energy when I’m involved with people and escalates the recovery time for refueling as well.

I know that I’m not the only person with this going on because, yes, I get lots of emails from you guys telling me of your personal health struggles as well. Obviously I totally relate and resonate with these struggles.

Why I’m Sharing Personal Stuff

I’m sharing all of this more personal stuff because I want you to understand that the decision I am sharing with you – the need to take a sabbatical from private communication that I offer through my blog and social media, has nothing to do with YOU. You guys are great. It’s only natural to want and seek solutions to conundrums or troubles you are facing on the hCG protocol. In fact that’s what I’m always encouraging right! Don’t give up, seek solutions, don’t just wonder and leave it be. Find solutions, analyze.

But being in my current state and having a blog that has gotten a little more popular on google the past year means I am getting a lot more email and private messages than in the past and I have been feeling especially overwhelmed lately. I am still just this one person, and I am finding lately this constant feeling of pressure, sadness, and just an overall sense of not being good enough, because I can’t seem to keep up with all the messages. I feel so guilty when I see emails waiting in my que to hear from me, or blog comments going unanswered. I worry you will think I’m ignoring you, or that I don’t care. It bothers me just as much as if a friend had called me and left me a voice message and I just never returned their call, or it took me 3 weeks to do so.

While my blog doesn’t have the answer to every single hCG question you could ever come up with, at this point it does contain quite a bit of information to help you succeed. On top of that, there is now my newly published hCG Diet Workbook for Phase 2, with a length coaching section that I spent a great deal of time crafting and that many are finding very useful to them (just read the Amazon reviews! 61 and counting!)

So in my usual overly-wordy way, I’m sharing with you all that I need to take an email/private message sabbatical.

Is there anything in your life that you need a short break from? It doesn’t have to be a month. Often just 1 DAY of a break from whatever particular thing is starting to make you feel drained, can make a big difference.

I have a VERY hard time setting limits for myself because I often feel so driven inside to get things done. Do you struggle with this too? I have learned through multiple experiences now that whenever I start to feel totally sucked in and my brain gets into this weird feedback loop where I’m trying so hard to focus but in reality not getting anywhere, I realize what I actually need to do is not try to focus harder, but to just go do something entirely different.

Crossfit serves me very well for this. It’s a completely different activity that completely distracts me from whatever is on my mind and leaves me feeling refreshed.

How about you? What specific activity can you do that is DIFFERENT from your same ‘ol-same ‘ol, even for a little bit, to help break that overwhelm-brain-fog feeling.

What I Will Be Doing

It’s not that I won’t be working on hCG related matters. But I need to take some time out to work on deeper content for the website and the future P3 & P4 workbook – information that can be evergreen and be reachable by all of you, instead of just one.

I have always tried to maintain a balance between interaction on a one-to-one basis with time spent on blogpost articles and videos, and overall, I feel I’ve managed it pretty well. I’ve never felt that I should spend my time on just one or the other. Individuals ARE important. I will always believe that. But of late I find myself almost entirely focused on email replies and no other work is getting done, and this is off-balance for me – and for you as well, as in the long run, you will benefit more by having available to a large number of you something I’ve spent time crafting and researching. Additionally like I said, when I don’t get enough “alone” time, my own inspiration, happiness, and productivity really suffers as my brain gets foggier and foggier.

This goes back to the introvert idea. What I find happening to me lately is that I can’t focus on the articles I’m trying to write and such because of having so much outside input. I find myself scattered and distracted.

“In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.” ~ Rollo May

Which reminds me of a little story that gives you a little window into my own nature.

I was in labor at the hospital with my son, ready to start pushing. Only my husband and the nurse were in the room. However I found it distracting and it was very difficult for me to focus on this obviously important task at hand. I had already asked for all the lights to be shut off, as I found the lights extremely distracting. Because I wasn’t alone, which is usually what allows me to feel focused, I was feeling incredibly scattered and incapable.

I finally asked my husband if he’d mind going into the adjacent bathroom, and closing the door so I couldn’t see him. Yes I did! Nicely of course.

I asked the nurse to leave as well.

She said that’s not protocol and that no one had ever requested this before.

I said, please, I need to be alone, I can’t focus with someone else here.

She reluctantly said she’d leave but that she’d still have to pop in and check on me every 10 minutes or so. Thank goodness!

Once I was alone, in the dark, I was able to give my full effort and concentration to the task. At the tail end, now feeling more like a “pro” at pushing ;), when the little slippery guy was ready to slide out into the world, I was okay with the menagerie of medical personnel making their way back into the room, including the doctor – who was warned by the nurse and rest of the staff to please not say a word, which to her credit and the rest of the staff, they respectfully stayed silent while I pushed the rest of my little baby boy out into the doctor’s hands.

I was actually close to having a c-section prior this. To be honest, I’m not sure what would have happened if my need for privacy and aloneness hadn’t been respected. The ability of my brain and the power of my body were completely different once everyone had gone. I felt powerful and strong and capable and focused.

Anyway- that’s my little story to show you a little piece of what makes up me.

“Originality thrives in seclusion free of outside influences beating upon us to cripple the creative mind. Be alone—that is the secret of invention: be alone, that is when ideas are born.”~ Nikola Tesla

I will be still be writing and posting content, as well sending out my weekly email newsletter to you all. I just need a little break for a bit from all the private one on one communication. My guess is a month or so.

Even now I feel nervous to make this decision. I feel like I’m going to miss out on something important somehow. And I feel like I’ll be letting you down – whoever of you take the time to pour out your story to me. But I’m trusting that you will understand my need to not self-combust.

What Happens When You Don’t Work With Your Nature

I feel that I didn’t at all understand how I as a unique person, operate best, until the past 5 years. What this means is I wasn’t able to flourish as I could have. I spent a lot of time trying to do things that were just not me. As a result, I never felt very confident about anything I did, which didn’t exactly help my self esteem, especially when those very same things others were doing with such expertise and confidence.

What’s interesting is, by doing more of what works with the type of person I am, I have actually learned to do more things that are hard for me as well. Interesting result. I also discovered that I’m good at, or can learn things, that I didn’t initially think were “me”.

But it all started with doing what came more naturally and easily to me FIRST.

That’s what got the whole wow-I’m-growing-up-and-wearing-recycled-yoga-mat-shoes-because-i-hate-heels ball rolling.

Thank You for WHO YOU ARE

Thank you all for being the great people that you are. Really and truly, my one on one communications have actually been one of the most enlightening and refreshing parts of this whole experience online. In fact, without it, I don’t think I would have had the drive or motivation to create as much content here as I have. I just need to create a little better balance and this break will help me achieve that so that I can come back refreshed and have a better system for helping you all out in the best way possible both for you and for me.

This thought puts it well, and how I feel about the kind of people you all are:

“The highest form of love is to be the protector of another person’s solitude.” Rainer Maria Rilke

The few times I have expressed a feeling of overwhelm, I have always gotten email replies from some of you telling me things like “we understand! Take some time out for you. We appreciate what you do so much but you have a family as well.” etc.
No joke.

I think only twice, out of literally thousands upon thousands of private emails, facebook messages and blog comments I’ve received and responded to, have I had someone express a complete lack of understanding for my one woman show.

So that means 99.99999999% of you are gold! See those people in the background below? Those are some of you hCGers. Some time back when I was about 75% done with the Phase 2 hCG Diet Workbook I was starting to hit a wall. I sent out an email asking to MEET you guys, so I could be inspired to get the last chunk of the workbook written. I asked you to send me your photo and share a little about your story, your struggles. I got many replies and had all the photos you all sent me printed and put them up on my wall.

I truly value the involvement and connections that I get to have with so many of you. After having a little down time from private communications, I will be back with a better, more organized set up for continuing to make those connections happen.

So how about YOU? Do you need time alone, quiet time to re-fuel? I’d love to hear your thoughts and story on this – just keep in mind I won’t be replying 😉 – But if you’d like to share for the benefit of everyone else reading, please feel free! It’s just so nice to know you’re not alone with how you feel right?

 

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