Why Acquiring New Habits is Hard, But Why It Get’s Easier
While discussing old habits, Steve Chandler in his book, 100 Ways to motivate yourself (which I HIGHLY recommend by the way – it really is motivating) in Chapter 63, asked his personal coach “but why do I DO these things? If I know they hold me back, why do I continue to do them?”
His coach said to him, “because they are home to you. They feel like home. When you do those things, you do them because it’s what your comfortable doing and so you make yourself right at home doing them. And as they say, ‘there’s no place like home.’”
Old Habits Are Comfy
Old habits are comfy, even if they are slowly killing us.
New habits are not even actual habits yet – they are new and unfamiliar actions that you are trying to take. On days when you’re feeling adventurous and energetic you might feel all geared up to try new, healthier habits.
But many days are those more normal days where you feel tired and run down. What is it you want when you feel like that? You want something that feels like home to you. Something that may at the best comfort you but at the very least not challenge you further.
Even though I would often feel crummy after the fact, my unhealthy habits were comforting at the time I engaged in them- a carton of ice-cream pretty much made me feel good inside, if only for about 20 minutes. And isn’t it the times when you are stressed or need comfort that you feel most motivated to do something about it that will help – even if its going to hurt you in the long run?
It’s Not Just You
So I’m not trying to convince you to keep gorging on ice cream or that these methods that we may be currently using to deal with life are good and should be continued. But it’s good to acknowledge that there’s a logical reason behind the difficulty in changing your habits. It’s not just you that is having this problem and that you’re lacking something that everyone else has. It’s a known issue for logical reasons.
Homesickness WILL Turn Into Feelings of Home
The thing to remember when the going gets tough, is that:
These new patterns that currently feel like the ultimate in homesickness WILL start to feel like home if you keep at it.
For the moment they are feeling like you’re on sit up 100 with 300 to go. But pretty soon it will feel like sit up 7 of 10. It will both get easier and actually over time become what you actually WANT to do vs. Something that you’re simply enduring.
Most of us can’t afford a personal coach like this author, but we have books like his at our disposal, this course, and the hCG community online to help us STICK with things long enough for it to become more comfortable. Sometimes the very knowledge that how you currently feel (like it’s super hard) is going to change in the near future, can give you the willpower to endure the difficulty and not give in just a little bit longer until that transition happens.
The more you do these new habits, the longer you do them, the more it will feel like what’s natural- the essential you. This will make it something that you will willingly choose to continue doing.
The old essential me had become ice-cream and cookies- that’s not how I was born, but that is what I had become. The new essential me, or I should say the essential me that should have been and that now is, is raw kale salads and P3 smoothies.
It’s normal that you are struggling, and it WILL feel easier soon.